


Privacy Risk Assessment

by moon_opals



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: After credits, Episode: s03e11 The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades, F/M, Gen, Gyro realizes his boss is weird, How did Goldie know where Scrooge was, Humor, Post-Canon, Scroldie WON
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_opals/pseuds/moon_opals
Summary: “Mr. McDuck, why is there a tracker installed in your phone?”He stared incredulously at the outdated phone and transferred this surprise to the phone’s owner sitting nearby.“Oh, a tracker. So that’s how she does it.”--Gyro always knew his boss was an odd duck. He just didn't know how odd.
Relationships: Gyro Gearloose & Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck/"Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt
Comments: 17
Kudos: 94





	Privacy Risk Assessment

**Author's Note:**

> All because of a conversation with a friend, namely neopuff. Check out her comic that inspired it all. 
> 
> https://lettheladylead.tumblr.com/post/631911036409249792/heres-my-interpretation-of-how-goldie-knew-about (Credit to Lil Bulb's line goes to Neopuff. It's simply perfect.)
> 
> In other news, a longer story is in the oven as we speak, but I really wanted to get something out before Let's Get Dangerous drops. Enjoy!

Outlandish requests were routine for Gyro.

A robotic servant, death rays, experimental communication devices that definitely didn't cause brain trauma or a teleporting blender were tacked on his list for the extraordinarily mundane. Far fetched but doable. 

What he wasn’t used to were outlandish requests disguised as ordinary.

He appreciated forwardness when handling transactions. All details weren’t pertinent, but basic information was required to ensure the quality of his work. So if, by chance, a cellular device was in any way _bugged_ , Gyro preferred knowing before he initiated a software update. 

“Mr. McDuck, why is there a tracker installed in your phone?”

He stared incredulously at the outdated phone and transferred this surprise to the phone’s owner sitting nearby. 

“Oh, a tracker. So that’s how she does it.” Mr. McDuck’s brow rose, but Gyro sensed the gesture was superfluous, more for his sake than any expression of genuine shock. “I see, well, as long as you can update the phone.”

Gyro tilted his head. He opened his mouth, baffled. “Yes, sir, it’s possible, but why?” He pointed to the phone,. “There’s a tracker installed in your software, and you don’t want to know who’s responsible?”

Mr. McDuck looked at him strangely. Brow folded, eyes slightly squinted. Gyro was reminded of Grandpa Ratchet whenever he blurted out a thoughtless answer before deciphering the equation. 

“Oh, I know.” He expelled a sigh, a dreamy sigh. A dreamy sigh Gyro never thought he’d hear exit out of Scrooge McDuck’s mouth. “Goldie put it there.”

“Goldie…,” he repeated slowly. He enunciated the name carefully, left eye narrowing behind its lens. “Goldie O’Gilt?”

“Yes,” he grinned. “I reckon she placed it a few years back, to keep up with me when I’m traveling. For the longest time I couldn’t grasp how she did it.”

“Did what? Stalk you?”

Mr. McDuck rolled his eyes at the suggestion. “Nah, you're exaggerating.” He dismissed Gryo with the air of an annoyed parent. “Whenever I was on a hunt for gold or treasure or a youth fountain, she’d know where to find me and arrive before me. Granted, I told her about the fountain, but I digress. It didn’t make any sense.”

Gyro stepped aside and rested his crossed arms on the examination table. “You’re telling me your girlfriend -,”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Frenemy with benefits, baby mama, ex-wife, whatever, I _don’t_ care,” Gyro listed. He was sure a vein throbbed in the center of his forehead, cleverly concealed behind bangs. “What I care about it is that your Goldie installed a fairly complicated tracker into your phone, and you’re telling me you want to keep it installed without any concern for the potential privacy breaches?”

Mr. McDuck’s stare squinted so finely it was sharper than a needlepoint. “I see,” he said. “You know, Ratchet didn’t ask so many questions when he worked for me.”

“Oh, please,” Gyro dismissed. “My grandfather fell in love with the first woman to knock him out with a tractor.”

“Ah, yes, your grandmother.” His expression turned wistful, and the tension near his eyes softened. “A lovely wedding, delicious cocktail wieners. Ratchet always said he fell in love with her common sense more so than her electric know how.”

“I am not discussing this with you.”

He gestured to the phone sitting on the table. “I know it sounds strange,” he explained in a strangely paternal tone, as if he had this discussion in the past, probably multiple times, “but it works for us. We’ll just pretend we never found out.”

“Me or Goldie?”

“Preferably Goldie, but you know how to keep a secret.”

Gyro inhaled, sharply and massaged his temples. What an infuriating old man. He didn’t know how his grandfather did it. But he had the answer to that. There was something admirable about Scrooge McDuck, and for some reason, you wanted to bathe in that admirable glow. 

It wasn’t like the glow illuminated any warmth, but it did allow Gyro to do as he pleased intellectually wise. 

“Alright, you've kept one secret, you've kept a million.” He picked up the phone, glaring at its deficiencies. “It’s simple enough, even with all this.” He grimaced at the shape and multiple tiny dents on the back of the case. “Honestly, how is this thing still alive? She shouldn’t have been able to install a tracker on this corpse.”

“When there’s a will, there’s a way,” Scrooge chuckled. He chuckled with a school boy's fervor, far away and smoky. “And Goldie always finds a way.”

Gyro’s beak curled in disgust. “So I presume you don’t want to remove the tracker?”

“No,” he smiled. “I’d rather keep it.”

The sight of a lovesick fool made Gyro’s stomach lurch. “Eugh, fair enough,” he grumbled. “At least it isn’t Waddle made. The risk would be minimal but undeniably present.”

“Good.” Scrooge stepped back and started in the opposite direction. “I have a meeting with our head accountant today. How long will this update take?”

“Less than an hour. Give me forty-five minutes.” He measured Mr. McDuck with an exhausted stare. “Are you sure you _don’t_ want to calculate the privacy risk?”

“Gyro,” Scrooge warned.

“Fine, fine.” He raised his hands defensively and began the process. “An hour, as long as everything goes well. Out with you, sir.”

"Thank you," Mr. McDuck nodded. "Oh, can you make sure I can't get charged for international charges?"

"I don't delegate that. You'd have to call your phone provider."

He frowned, disappointed but didn't make a fuss about it. Tipping his hat, he disappeared around the corner, out of sight but not out of mind.

Gyro labored a half-hearted glare at the entrance, shaking his head. “Straight people,” he grumbled dryly. 

As if waiting for their opportunity, Lil Bulb flashed hastily. Had anyone besides Gyro understood what the furious blinks meant, they would’ve read, _“Assuming they’re straight due to their heterosexual relationship is very presumptuous of you.”_

He faced his earliest and most cherished invention. “He gets off his girlfriend tracking his every move. I can live with my presumptions.”

Gyro snapped the phone shut.


End file.
